I’m staring at my calendar. I think I’m doing too much. I work over 20 hours a week and have 4 demanding classes as well as being one of the BSU presidents. I’m tired, but I’m excited to take my mind off my busy schedule and write this blog.
On Thursday the BSU hosted a black history month event that spoke on the importance of history and how we make history. It got me feeling really motivated. Something that the speaker, Geo, said in his talk was that “people who live by their convictions will always look like they’re doing too much to the people who aren’t.” This really spoke to me because racism and inequality have always been things that I have felt I need to make people aware of, angry about, and want to change. This made me think specifically of my semester abroad last year. I remember asking before my trip if I should be worried about racism in Alicante, Spain. It felt silly asking because as I looked around the room all white faces stared back at me. The person leading the info session was a white woman and she told me that people in Spain can be very racist and that they even say the n-word. This really concerned me, especially because if a white person observed it, what would my experience be as a back person abroad?
Once abroad I noticed that the racism I experienced was mostly because people were ignorant or had never actually been friends with a black person before and I decided it was my job to inform them on why it was so important to be cautious of the way they spoke about black people. My host mother had said things about Africans/ Black people being robbers or thugs, my host brother called black people the n-word in English, and when I told people I was from Colorado they would say, “por eso eres colorada” (that’s why you’re colored). I needed to correct them, to point out why these little comments were wrong. I needed to make myself comfortable so that black students after me would have an easier experience. I took every opportunity in my classes to bring up the racial factors of the things we study as well as compare my experience in South America, Europe, and North America. This is where the quote from Geo comes in, everyone thought I was doing too much. They didn’t really think their racist comments were as heavy as I made them sound, they didn’t understand that I have lived my entire life hearing these dismissive and offensive comments and the connotation they held.
After a little over two months, we were sent back to the US because of COVID. There were BLM protests going on and suddenly everyone was an activist. I was getting DMs asking me to elaborate on points I had made during class because they had seen the same statistic on a BLM Instagram post. Suddenly I wasn’t doing too much and they were trying to live by the same conviction.
This is exactly why I appreciate BSU so much because it is a space for people who have to live these experiences every day. It is a safe place where we can relate to each other. BSU is also the perfect place to find allies, as some of my closest friends I made through their unions or clubs reaching to collaborate or support BSU.
I'm staring at my calendar and I feel grateful for every opportunity, I'm not doing too much; I'm living by my convictions and I have found a community that supports me.
