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| The view from my window a couple of weeks ago- the building is Platt-Howard, one of the residence halls! I thought the sunset might brighten up a post on a not-so-bright subject- maybe? |
Hi everyone, welcome to post #2!
This week was a bit of a rough one- I bombed my Physics midterm, despite hours of studying. It was one of those moments where you walk in feeling okay, open the test up, and then your stomach just sinks. Not fun :(
But here's the thing about college: you kind of have to accept that you're not going to do well on everything, especially at first. And even after you get over that initial adjustment period, you're probably going to have some bumps along the way. I know this wasn't the easiest thing in the world for me to accept, and it's something I still have to work on. It took one big failure my freshman year to teach me how to deal with not being perfect all the time.
I had sat down to take my first Latin quiz of the semester and immediately panicked. Even though I'd studied, I felt like everything just flew out of my brain as soon as I sat down. A week later, I got my quiz back. Right there at the top, "45%", in unmissable red ink. I cried over it, and not just a little. I remember sitting in my friend's dorm room and crying to her, worrying about losing my scholarships and letting my family down. I felt absolutely crushed. Looking back, it does seem a little dramatic- but I had never failed anything before, ever. This was also my first brush with imposter syndrome- as a first-generation college student, I already struggled with feeling like I wasn't enough for an institution with LC's cred (more on that in a later post).
Even though I knew the only way to fix it was to talk to my professor, I hesitated. I'm someone who has a hard time asking for help in general, and I felt so ashamed at failing the first college quiz I'd ever taken that I just wanted to bury it and not think about it anymore. But I thought about it, and how much I wanted to succeed. With some encouragement from my friend, I finally went to my professor, and I was so relieved!
He was so kind and helpful, and assured me that I wasn't stupid or anything like that- I was just new to it! We made a plan for getting me back on track that fit my schedule. I ended up taking three more semesters of Latin and making Classics one of my majors. That same prof is now my major advisor and continues to be an amazing source of academic support to me. One great thing about LC and its small class sizes is that it allows you to build a relationship with your professors, and vice versa. They really do care about their students' success, and in my experience, are more than willing to work with you personally to get you to where you need to be (as long as you put in the effort as well!)
So, during that Physics test, I thought back to that Latin quiz my freshman year, and I knew not to panic. I focused on getting down everything I knew, and this week I'll be meeting with my professor and making a plan to get on track. A little bit of failure is normal- the important thing is not getting defeated.
Although that definitely wasn't nice to deal with (even if I was able to come out of it with a positive attitude), I did get some fun stuff in this week! My roommates and I live in an on-campus apartment (more on that later, maybe in my next post), and we each have one night a week where we cook dinner. I tried out a new potato soup recipe for my night this week and it came out great. I was super proud :) My roommates and I also traveled to one of the LC football team's away games on Saturday, which was so much fun. We grabbed an early lunch afterward- I'd been craving french fries with ranch for weeks and I finally got them! All in all, not a bad end to a bumpy week. After Tuesday I'll be done with midterms and midterm papers, and I'm looking forward to the lighter workload.
Talk to y'all soon!
xo
Ashleen